• Crap (59)

A Moment of Violence

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Published on: August 9, 2010

Manda wants me to post, and who am I to say no?

I don’t actually have anything violent to post about, the title is merely a Streetlight Manifesto reference I couldn’t help but make. I do have a new compy. It performs well, and tries it’s very best, but there is still an old compy-shaped hole in my heart. This is a pretty bad thing, because old compy was approximately the size of an outhouse. For those of you not up on your anatomy, it’s not good to have holes in your organs that are bigger than the organs in question. Also, it’s not good when you have to compare any facet of your medical issue to an outhouse.

Super-Giant Outhousitis is quite possibly the worst medical condition in the universe.



Categories: Crap, diary
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Published on: May 13, 2008

I just discovered a really cool word: Nuannaarpoq. It’s Inuit, and roughly translates to “unrestrained joy at the acts of living.”

It’s rare to find a single word that sums up everything you want.

State of the Blog Address

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Published on: March 13, 2008

I’ve done this before, blogfans, and I’ll probably do it again, but I’m trying something with the blog to see if I can motivate myself to post more.

There are three main reasons I don’t post much.

The first is laziness, and that’s not going away.

The second is lack of a topic. To that end I’ll be trying to do webcomic reviews weekly or so. I read a lot of webcomics, and I think maybe you people should read some of them.

The third is that I don’t like to sully all the crap with overly diary type stuff. I am, however, aware that some of you would probably read that. So, I’m labeling all the posts. Normal random crap will be labeled as such, and you’ll have the option to read just that. Webcomic reviews and diary posts will also have separate labels, and you’ll be able to read those by themselves as well. The main page will still show all posts.


No, but I know his younger brother, Who.

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Published on: January 7, 2008

You know what?

Rae keeps bugging me about not updating this infernal thing, and I just today realized that Rae could be updating it, too. Seriously, just because it’s my blog, I have to do all the work? What kind of a policy is that? Who put that into effect? I can guarantee it wasn’t me. That definitely doesn’t sound like something I would decide is a good idea.

On a related note: Ham sandwiches. Pretty cool, right?

O frabjous day!

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Published on: June 6, 2007

When all you have is a vorpal sword, everything starts to look like a Jabberwock.

Yes, I am suffering from some insomnia. Why do you ask?

Briiiaaannnn, Brriiiiiiiiiiiaaaaan!

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Published on: June 1, 2007

Okay, I’m going to level with all ya’alls: I am so bored right now. Like, becoming a zombie bored. Becoming a vegetarian zombie bored.

Seriously, I have done nearly nothing for almost two solid weeks, and I’m getting crazier than a 540 Indy Nosebone McTwist over an erupting volcano into a vat with seven sharks armed with a standard 6-shooter.

In case you don’t speak Awesomenese, that’s pretty crazy.

But, yeah, it’s not really the kind of crazy that tends to produce blog posts.

Yup, you guessed it: This has been a convoluted apology post.

A Pictographic Analysis of the Situation at Hand, or, Crappy Cellphone Pictures Ahead: Viewer Beware!

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Published on: April 24, 2007

Welcome back, boys and girls.

This = late.

Thus, I owe you many pictures. So, without further ado, a pictoral tour of my new domicile:

This is my stove. It’s a great example of the style of decor you’ll notice throughout the apartment, namely: old.

Here we have a closeup of my spice rack. Items of note are my finger, two nearly full things of Lawry’s Seasoned Salt, and blurry motion photography, indicating that this is where the action happens.

To fully appreciate this photo, it is recommended that you blast “Also Sprach Zarathustra” and imagine monkeys smashing bones.

Ramen, peanut butter, and hot cocoa: staples on which a man can live for nearly an eternity, if not longer.

This is the location from which this very blog post is being created, through a process we at C:tB like to call “Cremagication.”

The Pikey Hat rests atop my Bible near the cable that hooks my compy up to the Interwebs. Something Zen is happening in this photo, but I can’t quite determine what precisely it is.

The magic blinky lights that indicate that the internet is hooked up and pumping information, IV like, directly into my brain.

This is the trim in my living room. It cracks me up.

A wide shot of the living room. Things to note: Old looking furniture, old looking walls, and tiny, old looking windows.

Push the black thingy in the tank down after you flush.


If you took every closet I’ve ever had in my life, before this, and put them all together, they would still be smaller than this closet. It makes me feel just a little girly that this is one of my favorite features of the apartment.


I love lamp.

As you enter my apartment, you are greeted with this friendly reminder. Welcome mats are so cliche.

Tours in the blogosphere end differently than most tours: With the entrance.

That’s all.

I probably still owe you like a million posts.


Let's talk.

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Published on: February 19, 2007

Okay, so I’m hyper-late now.

But, it’s not my fault.

You see, there was a log-in issue with Blogger that was being super annoying, and I e-mailed the Google guys, and they got back to me with a workaround, so here is a post full of this run-on sentence.

So, while this post is late, it is, as stated above, not my fault. Therefore, I’m going to insert the two missing posts below this one, and give you some random photos, but not of me.

Sound good?


EDIT: Posts in place. (One is below Rae’s, as they’re posted on the dates they were supposed to go up.) Pictures to come.

Pikey Hat: A Retrospective

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Published on: February 17, 2007

So, I have this hat, which I refer to as my Pikey Hat. This is the story of this hat.

Born at the Henschel Hat Manufacturing company in St. Louis, Missouri, the hat soon moved to San Francisco, where it spent some time at a weird specialty hat store on Pier 39. It was there that I first met the pikey hat.

Though I liked the cut of its jib, I didn’t immediately buy the hat, because it’s price was a bit rich for my blood. However, as I walked out of the store, I realized that a hat that cool that actually fit on my head was too rare a find to just walk out on, so I purchased it.

The pikey hat and I went on to have many adventures together. It was with me for the rest of that trip to California, and a number of later band trips as well, seeing many of the sights.

It came with me when I went to visit Iowa State University, in hopes of attending that college. When I accidently left it in a Chinese Buffet, it waited patiently for my return two days later. The woman at the desk recognized me, and immediately gave me my hat back. I had always had a suspicion, but it was then that I realized that what I had was a lucky hat.

Now, the hat doesn’t cause me luck, (though I did wear it on some early (and more recent) dates with my lady friend) the hat itself is lucky. The incident in Iowa is only one of many times that hat has been lost, but it’s always found its way back. When it was getting dirty, it was also the perfect hat for my role in Screwtape, and managed to get itself dry cleaned as a result of me getting stage makeup in it.

The hat now plays a quiet role in my day-to-day existence. It gets worn as head protection when the weather is cold, but the occasion calls for something a little dressier than my Mountain Dew beanie. During the warmer months, it also serves to make me look cool. (No mean feat.) And, on occasion, it covers up the LED’s on my mouse so I can sleep in the tiny room I live in without having to turn the compy off.

This is all probably interesting to no one but me.

I think the hat would like it that way.

Gratzorgravy! (A World of Warcraft Adventure)

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Published on: February 9, 2007

Kluber, The Grease, Paladin of the Silver Hand sniffed the wind, and immediately regretted it. The fetid stink of the Living Dead filled the air. He spied one of the foul abominations over the next rise. Calling upon the holy energies that coursed through him, he rushed into battle, easily smiting his foe.

Seeing a potential vulnerability, another of the damned rushed at his back. He crushed this one with the same ease as the first. “Lolz!” he proclaimed, /spitting on the corpse.

All of the sudden, a rush of golden light and a peculiar “BWOOHM!” sound came about Kluber. He knew this sensation! “Ding!” he shouted in exultation, “Zomg! Teh 60!”

“Gratz!” was the resounding reply from the heavens.

Kluber was rejoicing that he had reached the pinnacle of Paladinhood when another voice from the heavens, one of these “guildies” said, “Dude, now get to 70.”

So overcome was Kluber that he fell to his knees and screamed to the sky, “HAX!!!!”

After a moment of grief, Kluber arose and shouldered his hammer.

There were things that yet needed to be killed.

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